Fine, I'll take the bait. But just because you can get me on the line doesn't mean you can reel me in. I can't help but take personally an affront such as the one laid out in Tommy's Thoughts #5. It reflects a disturbing trend of league-wide antagonism that grows with each passing week, and I call shenanigans on all of it. Below, I present my response to Tommy's Thoughts #5, and follow it up with a plea for civility. I've tried to cut straight to the chase since I've learned the hard way that reading another GM's long-winded diatribe is about as interesting as putting air in your car tires, but of course I have failed. Join me at your leisure.
Why do I whine when a GM misses his minimum IP and mails in a landslide loss to a strong competitor who I hope to beat for a top two spot in the LOWV this year? Because little things add up over a season, and details do indeed matter. Sure it's a long season, but getting a bye in the first round of the 'yoffs is incredibly valuable. We all know how hot or cold streaks impact any given match-up in the H2H format, so don't pile on me for aiming for the bye. And what if I DID end up losing out on the 'yoffs because of tBB's lapse? I'm familiar with the arithmetic of the stochastic, and in the future I'll keep my grief to myself, but that stuff matters in the end.
Next, why does Beatonian love to misquote me? I really don't mind if you take my words to fashion an argument against me. But putting parentheses around someone else's paraphrasing does not constitute a quote. A hazy recollection of a conversation of a year ago is also not a quote, and analyzing it as such, especially when you were on the same side of the argument as I was, is beat. Judas! I know, I know, it's probably no fun to find out or try to remember what I really said, or even simply to ask me about something at all before passing off hearsay as my word, but I'd appreciate it if you at least tried.
And to elaborate, going back to 2004 when I actually started to understand fantasy baseball:
Melvin Mora
Kyle Farnsworth
Justin Morneau
Eric Byrnes
Nate McLouth (I hope)
I'm sorry if I get psyched about some good moves I made over the past few seasons (I swear! Look up the numbers!), but you must live in submarine if you think I'm the only one who does, and I don't think claiming one good move a year qualifies anyone as pompous. And of course I can name many more bad moves I made than good ones, but as you all know me to be, I'd rather get psyched and blow a little hot air over the good than wallow in the bad. But pompous? No, writing a weekly blog post about the genius management of your fantasy baseball team is pompous. I believe the accepted term for my enthusiasm for myself is "braggadocious." And furthermore, labeling me the most pompous GM in the LOWV is like calling LeBron the best black athlete in the NBA. Maybe I got it this year, but the competition is pretty stiff. See?! Another achievement I can be proud of!! You all stink!!
And can we just set the record straight and stop trying to perpetuate the myth that my squad benefits from the holdover of the initial roster valuation more than any of the other pre-keeper era GM's? I have ONE player on my roster from 2006 that actually gives me any kind of advantage, which is just about the average for the league, El Guapo and The Mothership notwithstanding. Every other LU player has been added via trade, auction or the FA pool, just like everyone else's roster. Hanley does happen to be one of the best fantasy players out there, and I've only ever taken partial credit at best for that contract, but unless you count Justin Morneau's $13 contract as a serious advantage (which I don't), Peavy is no steal at $23 and Eric Byrnes' is a fair $3, which, by the way, would be the cost of his contract for whichever GM took him off the FA heap had I dropped him. And those are the ONLY players on my roster that date back to the contracts of my end-of-year 2006 roster. If anyone out there in LOWV GM-land chooses to believe that I've had a good run over the past two years simply because of those four contracts, I don't agree, but if that's your claim then fair enough. And in an effort to reduce my own pomposity, I'll just leave it at that.
I think this has been said enough on Shortpants to be established and accepted as our common understanding, but I'll reiterate here to underscore the point. There are myriad means to enjoy fantasy baseball, too numerous and oft cited to repeat. Personally, I enjoy running my team as if it were a business, and I like a moderately complex framework of rules within which to run it. To navigate those rules with any kind of success gives me pleasure. Yes, I'm a huge, huge nerd. And I'm clearly not alone in that, either. This interest in detail has been the quality that sets this league apart from all other leagues I have been in, and I would not enjoy the LOWV nearly as much if it weren't there. Does that mean that I don't enjoy the friendship aspect of the LOWV? Not even close, and I bristle at the notion. I log on every day to follow the rivalries, the bulletin board, the smack talk, the auction, Shortpants, and the blog posts. I just also like crunching the numbers, too. Like I said, nerd alert, but it's who I am and what I enjoy.
James, I know this issue dates back to a conversation last summer in the wee hours of the morning on Sahl's dock in Norfolk. We were discussing the new rules of the LOWV, the increasing complexity of said rules, and the potential for them to become more complex in the future. For the record, I did not say that I would quit the LOWV if it became more about friendship than competition. If that's the prevailing interpretation of my lobbying for greater complexity in league rules, I apologize for the misunderstanding. I certainly am interested in maximizing my enjoyment of the league, and, as such, in increasing complexity of rules, but I certainly don't begrudge anyone their difference of opinion. If I am of one extreme, then, based on conversations we've had, James is of the other. Neither position invalidates the other, and heretofore they have coexisted peacefully and prosperously, or at least so I thought. If any misgivings persist as the legacy of that conversation, let's nip this flower mid-blossom if it's too late for the bud. I'm just happy to be a part of this collection of handsome genius.
Let this uninteresting, long-winded diatribe of one LOWV GM be a paean to the brotherhood and camaraderie of the LOWV, and let's cast aside our differences of opinion. We can choose to drive a wedge into this lofty butte of baseball-loving, yuck-stirring savants, or we can choose to keep this gorgeous mass of wise-cracking, brain-tingling, mostly-useless talent as beautiful as it was when it was handed to us from the Gods of male bonding on high. I confess I have sinned against this great congregation of men from time to time, but I humbly repent, and I resolve to sin no longer and beseech my peers to do the same. Now let's play (with our) ball(s)!!
Taste My Puddin',
Mama Jams
GM, The Lacey Underalls
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