Overheard Around the LOWV...

A new fun feature at the LOWV Blog. Recent actual quotes from players around the league. No additional words have been added between the quotation marks.

"I asked him, 'Are you OK?' and I heard him say, 'My arm, my arm!' " El Guapo third-sacker Mike Lowell said after injuring Banana Belt designated hitter Mike Piazza on his flashy head-first slide into third. "I was like, 'Let me just get out of here.' What am I going to do, hug him?"

"I guess I hit his 'honey hole,'" El Guapo ace Ben Sheets said after giving up a bomb to Lacey Underalls outfielder Chris Duncan. "He put a charge in that one."

"Lately, I've been getting real bigheaded about myself," The Flash’s reliever Joel Zumaya said modestly. "I've been falling into a little trap -- 'Oh, it's Zumaya Time, these guys can't hit me' -- instead of going out there and doing what I (was) doing last year."

"It's embarrassing," Josh Towers – whose perennial piece-of-shit pitching will never get him a whiff of an LOWV roster -- lamented after giving up a bomb to the decrepit Vicious Rumors slugger Sammy Sosa. "I know how many homers he's hit, but he's got so many holes [in his swing]."

“The weekend finally came to an end, and I was able to do some very exciting things. Earlier this past week I got a flat on my Denali and had to have someone come and replace the vehicle so the tire could be fixed. Even though I have only been in the new Denali for about a month, I have already grown accustomed to my new car and was looking forward to getting it back. The car was returned on Friday,” Equipe centerfielder Curtis Granderson wrote on his blog, proving that he’s as big of a barrel of laughs as his dowdy general manager. “The next exciting thing I did was Sunday after our game: I headed to Wal-Mart to buy a few basic things for my apartment and a few snacks.”

Banana Belt set-up specialist Pat Neshek chimed in on his own blog: “I gotta start to get some of my new cards up under the “baseball cards” section. I have been slacking and don’t even have my AAA cards up there yet. I was also wondering the other day if there is anyway or if anyone knows how to make a website where people can add to say a checklist for all my #599 Topps Chrome Rookie Card. I thought it would be really neat to get a checklist of every number and see where and who has these cards.”

"Yeah, next time instead of moving it, I might just wheel it," said former Poor Man's Fart reliever Bob Howry said after injuring his back moving the grill on his patio. "I didn't want to take the cover off to use the wheels, so I just picked it up." Long frustrated by Howry's laziness, the incident proved the final straw for PMF, who summarily released the grillmeister.

Said Tom Glavine about The Flash's befuddling pitching strategy: "It adds a little bit of craziness to the mix. You'd love nothing better than to come in here everyday and know whose pitching. ...That's not the case. If the guy you bring in here has a bad game, or a bad couple of games, yeah, there's a little bit of 'Who's pitching tonight?'"

"I'm here to get my fair share of money," Lacey Underalls’ extraordinary closer Jonathan Papelbon said. "My main priority is to stay healthy and be able to make money, not to go out and try and hurry up and win a championship this year (at the risk of injury). I've got a lot of money to be made in this game, whether it's with [the Lacey Underalls] or not. My goal is to make sure I'm ready to play every day and to make money, and you can't make money if you're sitting on the bench.”

“It was a tough week for me,” The Snaturals outfielder Torii Hunter rationalized acting like a pussy and shutting down his charge of the mound after getting a faceball to the face. “I’ve been in the champagne scandal, the Jackie Robinson comments. And I thought about all of that and said, ‘Man I can’t give anybody else something to talk about.’ So I just shut it down.”

"Sometimes, it does bother you," Flash’s Ian Snell said about his poor run support.

"Being cold, it's tough to get warmed up. Sometimes, it's the windy days, the wind blowing in your eyes, and different kind of stuff," whined Lasorda’s Manicotti’s Ryan Howard about his slow start to the season.


Some favorite baseball-related YouTube clips laying around.

David Ortiz plays badminton:

Lee Elia’s tirade, my personal favorite. FYI: Extremely profane:

Another Japanese pitcher gets the shit scared out of him:

Finally, we’ve already enjoyed the greatest baseball highlight of all time, but I still can’t find a clip of arguably the second-best: when a crippled 40-year-old Bill Buckner hit an 45-second inside-the-park homer during his brief 1990 comeback with the Red Sox after Claudell Washington fell into the stands and broke his leg. If anyone finds it, please send it to me immediately and make my week.